Date: 11th June 2007 at 10:45am
Written by:

This is a slapstick look at events unfolding next season, no, none of them are serious but hopefully it’ll be fun to read…..

1) After coming on as a sub with 10 minutes left, Stephane Henchoz is replaced in the 83rd minute due to exhaustion.

2) Despite playing a stormer for 60 mins, with a game full of craft and vision, Paul Gallagher is replaced whilst the tired and anonymous Shabani Nonda stays on the pitch.

3) Mark Hughes goes the full season on the touchline without smiling.

4) Chris Samba sustains a concussion ruling him out for a month after whacking into the ‘this is Anfield’ sign away at Liverpool.

5) Seconds after signing a double your money contract extension, Dave Dunn pulls a hamstring whilst putting the pen back on the desk.

6) After scoring a goal at the Blackburn end, Matty Derbyshire performs the most subdued celebration ever seen. (Just doing the 3 laps round the pitch whilst throwing his arms around like an 8 year old on creatine).

7) During the half time interval Shabani Nonda is ordered to take 5 penalties against Roar the Lion, scoring 1, missing 3 and having one saved brilliantly by the athletic Lion.

8) During the match, Roar is spotted NOT chatting up the stewardesses.

9) Kevin Hitchcock is spotted in the dugout without his arms folded, the caption receives £500,000 from Sky One for the shock footage taken by a season ticket holder in the Jack Walker Stand.

10) Stephen Warnock is revealed in the News of the World as the secret love child of Tugay. And the real reason he has not been selected by Steve McClaren for his England Squads is that Warnock is actually Turkish, making him in eligible.


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15 Replies to “Rovers Things You Know Will Happen”

  • Classic lol. You missed 2 mikey. 1) Tugay scores a trademark volley from 30 yard out. 2) After a 20 goal year, our 8 million pound striker asks for a transfer to the next biggest club going around, Birmingham City

  • Great stuff! Not all are as unlikely as you may well think though MikeyGamst. 1, 2 & 3 for me are ALL highly possible lol!

  • Number 7 is a definite… gald people are enjoying. I’ve got a Brett Emerton article coming up that is a good read (I think)…

  • classic! you missed 11) David Bentley puts in the world’s most perfect cross to the back post only for MGP to hit the post from a yard out (unfortunately you KNOW this one WILL happen again). 12) Derbyshire, Bentley AND Warnock get called up for senior England only to occupy spots on the bench all game whilst Kiron Dyer comes on up front, Jenas is subbed on into right-midfield and Phil Neville takes over as left-back.

  • Also JR being the Prem’s top goalscorer despite failing to hit the target with any of his attempted ‘shots’!

  • Bents4eng – Neville takes over the captains armband to boot! Are you really sure that MGP would hit the post though, he would be more likely to put it wide wouldn’t he lol!

  • roversman – Well MGP has to complete the full set, what could be his reasoning (and for him to get away with it?!?!) to change the name to Morten?!?! JR WILL be the top scorer 🙂 OK, maybe not top scorer, maybe our top scorer though.

  • 12) Derbyshire, Bentley AND Warnock get called up for senior England only to occupy spots on the bench all game whilst Kiron Dyer comes on up front, Jenas is subbed on into right-midfield and Phil Neville takes over as left-back. F*****G AMEN BROTHER!!!

  • He’s pulling them up in a “job done” fashion, often with a nod of approval also. I love seeing it as I know it means he is a happy man.

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